For nine months, I've been looking forward to the Rock 'n' Roll marathon in June. Having that goal of completing the half marathon has caused so much growth for me! I know that my pursuit of the goal has made me a better person.
It breaks my heart a little to admit this, but I have to let go of that goal for now. In August I injured myself and never went to a doctor, and now the injury has turned into a problem that's going to keep me out of this year's race.
I'm tempted to beat myself up over this. After all, it was pretty stupid of me to refuse to see a doctor for my overuse injury (which I got from being kinda stupid in the first place). When I started to train again in January and the pain came back worse than ever, it was pretty stupid of me to ignore it and wait until the end of March to admit that - just maybe - I needed a doctor.
But we all do stupid stuff from time to time. I'm holding on to the ways that I've grown because of this goal in the last nine months. I'm choosing to see the victories in the new ways I handle my hurdles, in the determination I've found to keep going even when it hurts, and in the revelation that I really do want to be a runner.
This isn't the end for me. I still have goals. I plan to run the half next year instead of walking it this year, and that still means a whole lot of training. I'm really excited about that! For now, I have to admit my humanity and go see a doctor about this knee before I damage it any further.
Two steps forward, one step back, and I'm still farther along than I used to be. 2015 is going to be my best year yet.
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