New Chapters(Day 155)

What an amazing year 2014 has been!

It's the season for reflection, and for statements of resolution toward change. I have this tendency to go a little overboard with resolutions. I get so excited for a new mark in time that I think this is the year everything's going to change all at once - and it never is. Change doesn't happen all at once. 

I almost did it again this year. I almost put together a long list for myself that included things like finishing the Harry Potter series in six months (I don't have that kind of time) on top of reorganizing and refurnishing my entire house, learning enough recipes to fill a set of cook books...and it goes on. Really. 

Fortunately after almost five years with my husband, I occasionally get his common sense into my head. I was looking at my list, a question popped into my head: What do I want out of 2015?

It's a good question, and an important one. Stephen Covey even lists the mindset it comes from as one of the 7 habits of highly effective people. It's called "Beginning with the end in mind." I took a step back and said "At the end of 2015, what do I want to have accomplished?"

What do I really, actually want from 2015?

That birthed my 3 (and only 3!) resolutions. 

1. I'm going to keep up on an exercise habit 3-4 times a week (and more if the opportunity arises)

2. I'm going to work on my book for at least an hour every day. 

3. I'm going to recognize my victories when they happen, and accept my failures without beating myself up over them. 

And that's it, nice and simple. It's going to be an amazing year. 

Balance, Part 5 (Day 139)

Christmas is the perfect time to talk about balance because it's the one time of the year we all go a little wacky. I'm sure you have your own story you could relate about hosting Christmas (the turkey burned, the oven stopped working, my in-laws were a whole week earlier than I expected them!). We all know how hard it is to maintain any real balance during the Christmas season and so most of us throw it out the window entirely.

Real, healthy balance is about keeping your priorities taken care of while also maintaining your sanity. I'm here to tell you that it's totally possible during Christmas. What's the key? Knowing your priorities. In the words of Albert Einstein: "The important thing is to keep the important thing, the important thing."

For example:

Between three businesses, writing a book, managing my husband's health, and being a social 23-year-old girl, I'm busy. My calendar was scheduled all the way up to Christmas before the turkey was cooked on Thanksgiving; which means December 1st wasn't "the start of Christmas" for me this year. It was just December 1st. I had three appointments, two customer emergencies came up, I wrote 2,000 words in my book, and I started planning January. December 1st was totally characteristic of my entire month so far (and I'm loving every minute of it!).

This morning I agreed to host Christmas for the very first time and as soon as I got off the phone with my mother in law, I heard (figurative) plates crashing. Coming up with the menu plan, getting the house all festive, even coordinating who's bringing what dish: no problem! I was born to be a hostess! But I also know that when my schedule is packed and it's short notice, there's that much more potential for things to go wrong and challenge my sanity. My priority for Christmas is to enjoy family time and create good memories, so this year my family is eating Chinese takeout for Christmas despite my inner perfectionist's protests.

Balance.

It's the small space between burning up and hurtling into the darkness. It's getting plates in the air and knowing when to let a few of them fall. Sometimes it's having your schedule down to the minute, and sometimes it's throwing the schedule out the window. It's keeping yourself sane and your priorities straight - and it's what life is all about.

Balance part 4 (Day 129)

The key problem I have with balance philosophy is that it assumes nothing ever falls apart or goes differently than planned. Today's balance philosophy tells us that if only we were balanced enough, we could pile our plates higher and higher with utter peace of mind and nothing would ever go wrong.

What a load!

Plodding along under this philosophy we try to do our best and take on everything, say yes to everything we can, until one day it all just falls on top of us. Then, we sit on the floor surrounded by broken plates and beat ourselves up because if only we had enough balance, this wouldn't have happened.

At least, I do.

The truth is that if nothing is going differently than planned at least sometimes in your life, you're probably not doing much. Bodybuilders strive for safety in their workouts so they don't permanently injure themselves but they understand that their muscles will never grow unless the tissue is torn. The same is true in life. You don't know what you're capable of unless you push your limits and you never become capable of more unless you push past those limits. That means that, at least some times, all of your proverbial plates are going to fall. They're just going to.

Can you strive to keep them in the air longer and longer? Yes. Can you hone your craft and eventually be able to keep even more plates in the air? Absolutely. Can you do any of that without having the occasional dropped and even broken plate? Not a chance.

You can, however, pick up the plates and try again.

Sometimes things fall apart. Sometimes we even fall apart. It's just a fact of life. When the falling apart happens you can sit around beating yourself up, or you can take a breath, dust off, and try again. That's how you get better, how you learn.

In review:

• Total and ongoing unbalance is unhealthy
• Rigidity in the pursuit of perfection is both unhealthy and unrealistic
• It's important to understand where your limits are so you know when it's time to add more
• It's also important to understand that sometimes the plates are just going to fall, and that doesn't make you a failure. It makes you human. Don't be fooled into thinking that nobody else breaks plates just because they've swept up the mess by the time you see them again. We all do it. It's a fact of life. Continuing on after the plates fall is the important part.