Let's Talk Monday (Day 90)

Monday is the quintessential diet start day. Countless times have we stood in front of our calendar on a Monday, took a deep breath, and said to ourselves: "Day one. Let's try again."

Let's talk Monday for a minute.

For some people Monday's the hardest day. After a weekend full of the things that didn't get done during the week, Monday feels like another weight on the already too-heavy load we carry. For others, Monday is an easy day. We're addicted to starting over and that means we're addicted to Mondays - even if we know (and may already be planning) that we will probably give up again by Wednesday.

Here's the thing: Not every day is Monday. We can't live our lives for Monday any more than we can healthfully live our lives for Fridays. At some point, you've got to stop starting over. Time marches on without you if you're always living on day one.

In the last 90 days I've gained 40 pounds. I don't like that, not a single bit. But it's my own fault. I trapped myself with Mondays. "I'll start on Monday" I said to myself. On Monday I stood with renewed resolve and by Wednesday all I wanted was cake - so I had a giant piece with the justification that I'd "been good." On Friday I felt awful about Wednesday and so I had another overly large portion of something to cheer myself up. Saturday and Sunday are the weekend and I'd already screwed up again so I might as well throw it all to the wind. "I'll start again on Monday."

Sound familiar?

In June, when I hit the 80-pounds-down mark, I felt invincible. I started training for the marathon, gained some numbers on the scale, and felt way less invincible. I injured myself in August and felt like a flop. It was like all the work I'd done for 8 long months had been for nothing!

I wanted to think my weight was just a numbers problem. Get the numbers right in your food, get the numbers right on the scale, and "Voila!" You're fixed. It's so much more than that, though. It's understanding that you only get one "day one" when you make a change. Every single day counts. Every decision matters. It's learning to find joy in the right decisions. It's learning the terrain of your own subconscious so you know where all the pitfalls are. It's learning how to change your entire mental economy.

It's learning that Monday is just Monday and what you do with today added to what you did with yesterday and what you'll do with tomorrow is what really counts. That's why it's okay that I've gained back 40 pounds. Not ideal, not the goal, certainly not a trend I want to continue. But not the end of the world either because in the larger timeline, I'm still 40 pounds closer to where I want to be. And either way, I can still make today a step closer to my goals.

Here's to Monday, for what it's worth. Another fresh week, but not another day one.

(Day 63) October!

I love Autumn. I love the way sunlight creeps into the world a little slower, the hint of ice in the smell of the air, and the crunch of leaves on the sidewalk. I love pumpkin flavored everything and pitch black at six in the evening. I love sweaters and scarves and finger-less gloves, which all work beautifully in the Northwest in autumn. I love having a shorter day to work with because it has a way of creating a priority hierarchy all by itself.

I also love the first day of any month because it's a convenient marker for beginnings (and new beginnings).

Let's talk about October. But first, let's recap September.

In September, I tried to lose weight 100% without the aid of any meal replacements. I'd read that it was possible, I had my healthy recipes and my macronutrient guidelines, and I wanted to study for myself the opposing sides of the "eating healthy to lose weight" argument - those being either "It's totally possible and even easy, you're just lazy" and conversely, "Sure it's possible, but it's not reasonable for someone who has anything resembling a life or responsibilities."

It was a helpful experiment. It took some work and some willingness to eat the same general thing every day because of all the healthy things that don't work well with my husband's digestive system (plus, okra: ew); but I found it fairly easy on our slower weeks. On the weeks that I stuck to my plan, I saved money and maintained my weight well. If I'd been adding exercise I am confident I would have lost weight on those days.

However...

My reality is that I need a simpler solution for the long-term because not every week is a slow week. Some weeks are really busy weeks. Some weeks, there's so much work to do that I only have half my brain (and I'm not even the one doing most of the work!)

I was going to the grocery store almost every day between the amount of fresh produce, meat, and dairy, and the things on my list I sometimes forgot. It worked out great for the first week and a half. Then it stopped working. I got too busy to stop and cook meals in the middle of the day, we weren't at home with our yogurt at meal time, and we missed scheduled fueling breaks. This lead to extremely hungry and sometimes cranky people come dinnertime and since we were both running on fumes by that time I had no energy for cooking. Junk food and poor portioning choices crept back into the picture.

I gained weight in September. Blech. With exercise I'm confident I would have maintained my weight instead, but I wasn't making time for exercise either.

The results of my experiment are summed up as this: Healthy eating is budget-wise and when paired with exercise is an effective way to lose weight. However, between my schedule and my cravings it's not reasonable to expect myself to always only rely on healthy whole-food eating. I need healthy meal replacements as a supplement in my life. Anyone who has a variable schedule that doesn't allow for regular feeding times beyond a few bites that required no preparation work, or who struggles with impulse control and cravings, will probably benefit greatly from the use of meal replacements as a regular part of life.

On to October!

I'm excited about October! It's going to be a really good month for us!

Tired of setting weight goals and then not creating the habit of activity to back them up, in October I'm setting a different kind of goal. My goals for October are to exercise for an hour 6 or 7 days every week, to eat reasonable portions at regular intervals using meal replacements as a supplement when needed, to shy away from the higher carb options in favor of the higher protein ones, and to limit my sweets to once or twice a week. By doing these things, I'll lose weight as a matter of course, and I'll create a habit system that's much more in line with the way I want to live long term. I also have a goal to learn at least one new dinner recipe. After all, I'm a bit of a one-trick pony right now (but boy, is that trick tasty!)

To make my goals work in October, I'm also going back to waking up at 4 in the morning so I have plenty of time to drink my protein shake, exercise, and get some blogging or a few chores into my morning even on the busiest days.

What are some of your October goals, and how are you going to change your life to make sure they happen?