Day 18

It's day 18...how are you doing with your goals? Have you been developing the habits that will help you live the life you want later?


I'm finding that feeling better about myself - as I am right now - is going a long way for me. I've gotten some new dresses recently that really flatter my shape and look pretty great! Since food (and especially junk food) is my comfort-seeking reaction, not feeling horrible about myself and needing comfort all the time is really helping me!

I haven't gotten awesome at controlling my normal eating habits. My husband and I are a pair of absolute codependent enablers! Whenever he has a craving for nachos, I say "YES! That sounds amazing!" When I'm craving pizza he says "Sounds good!"

My weight is fluctuating the way you can normally expect during the summer, 3 pounds up or down here and there. That means that I'm doing well enough to maintain - which is good! I have been on a steadily gaining pattern for a while, and so maintaining any weight means I've changed something for the better. 

I've been exercising more, but not doing what I should with my carb intake. The good news is that I know exactly what to change to do even better! The bad news is that for me, carbs are love. Although my parents may not have realized the programming our habits were creating, empty carbs are how I was raised to know that times were good and life was going to be okay for a while. It can be really hard to get away from that, but I have an amazingly supportive husband and mother in law who are helping me to teach my subconscious that there are other signs to look for. We're training my body and mind to appreciate certain experiences - like having more time and money to hang out with the people I love. I'm learning, slowly, that food isn't the only way I can say "everything is going to be alright."

This week I'm adding extra workout time in, and pulling simple carbs (like white bread, doughnuts, and most pastas) out of my diet as much as possible. I'm hoping that this is the key that's going to help me start losing weight again. 

My goal right now is to figure out just what level of change I need to make. I'm not into crash diets, however much they may work for a while. I want to know what kind of lifestyle I can expect to have and maintain - through busy-ness, life, trips and vacations, special events and tiring times. I need to know what kinds of choices I need to make sure I'm making and how much of my food-loving lifestyle I can keep if I'm careful - for my sake and especially for my children's sake. 

One of the things that has been motivating me the most lately has been my kids. We're planning on starting our family sometime next year, and I've been thinking a lot about what kind of mom I want to be. What kind of habits do I want to pass on to my children? 

I watch my mentors very closely - especially with their children. I watch T as she teaches them healthy eating habits, emotional self control, and discipline in their daily lives. I watch as S teaches them how to be leaders. I watch as together the two of them teach their kids how to interact with others, how to be kind and generous but still strong in their morals, and how to make decisions that will carry them through life. 

That's the kind of thing I want to teach my kids. From a very young age I want to teach them to exercise in the morning to keep their bodies limber and strong and their metabolisms fast. I want to teach them about proper nutrition and healthy eating habits - and also how to really enjoy their food! I want to teach my kids that healthy doesn't have to mean lettuce for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. I want to teach them what healthy eating does mean, including principles like everything in moderation. 

I want to pass on a healthy legacy to my kids. I want to be the 120-year-old grandma (and maybe great grandma) in excellent shape, still able to run around the playground with the babies of my family. No brittle bones, no failing heart, no extra pounds that make breathing that much harder. I'm only in my 20s, and I know that dream is attainable. I also know that if I develop the habits for myself, and really make them a part of my life, my kids will naturally follow in my footsteps. Then they will also get to be very old, very active, very happy grandparents one day. 

So here, on day 18, I'm keeping my kids in mind. When I don't want to get up in the morning to exercise, I think "Do it for the babies." When I'm deciding what to choose off the menu at a restaurant I think "what will I want to teach my little ones?"

So far, it's been very helpful. I'm not perfect by any means. But I'm doing better and better every day. It's good to have something outside of myself to motivate me in this, because the scale isn't impressing me right now and since I live in my body it's hard to notice the small changes that happen slowly. But as an added bonus, my husband is noticing that my body is starting to shape up and slim down a little! And since he's the kind of guy who doesn't even know what kind of clothes I own - even though I wear the same outfits every week and spend all day with him - for him to notice means there must be a big improvement!