There's so much to be found in relationships with others. So much wealth in their knowledge and experiences, in their perspective. So much value in simply doing what you're doing alongside someone else. Yet so often, and especially in a weight loss or fitness journey, we try to do it alone. We fear the judgment from others at the gym, and so we convince ourselves that we can get the same amount of workout by walking around the block. We go to the gym and fear not being able to meet someone else's expectations, and so we refuse the help of a trainer. In many cases we tend to make choices that leave us in a very clear state of Alone, always alone.
I've spent years making this mistake. But recently I realized something very important. Vital, even!
I don't know everything.
Shocker, right? Let me explain what I mean.
I've done a lot of research. Between various health issues with family members, (seemingly) random diagnoses reported to me by friends, and my own battle with my weight, I've done a lot of research. I know a lot more about how the human body works than most people my age. And yet, there's so very much I still don't know. I had accepted that I would just need to do more research. I'm good at research! I spent so many years in school writing reports, that had to be good for something, right? So I accepted that I would need to pour over perhaps tens of thousands of articles and sift out the truth for myself.
Sometimes I'm kindof stupid.
The reality is that I could do all the research on my own. And at the end of it what would I have? A bunch of research, most of it beyond my understanding. Without even a real direction I could waste more than half the time I spend trying to find the new information!
Or, I could ask someone. Someone who knows. Someone who already has done the research. Someone...else.
I'll admit right now that it's hard for me to rely on other people and I'll admit that it's 100% a pride issue. I'm learning. I have a tendency to *want* to do it all on my own, to feel like if I don't do it on my own then it just won't be the same. And that's right to some extent. It won't be the same, it will be much easier.
For example, I recently made friends with a nutritionist and life coach couple. In conversation I learned that you need to make sure you're giving your body something to work with before your workout. What a revolutionary concept! Put gas in the car first, and *then* ask it to run! (Can you hear the sarcasm? I should have known this one.)So I tried it, and my results were amazing. I had so much more energy and endurance! I went twice as far, twice as fast, and I wasn't dead at the end. Brilliant! This has inspired me to do more research about what order and at what times you should consume what nutrients to maximize their benefits.
You're not alone. You're not meant to be alone.
I also just recently found a workout partner and joined a gym. I hate being the fat girl at the gym but having someone else there makes me more confident for one very simple and quite ridiculous reason: I have a natural tendency to show off. If there's someone else working beside me, I won't mention how self conscious I am about how my butt looks during this workout. I won't mention that the workout is killing me, not until I'm on the ground and can't get back up. It just won't happen, because with someone else beside me some level of competitiveness kicks in and I have to impress the other person with how awesome I am. And even if they never say a word about me being awesome, I still have to do it.
Still, with all of this, I was isolating myself. I wasn't really opening up to anyone, wasn't really letting anyone truly come alongside me and help me in this area. Until I met K.
K is one of the trainers at my gym. Usually I don't work with a trainer. I never saw the value to be had in that relationship and so I've left it alone. But this time I've decided to give it a whirl and K has surprised me. Once she knew I was serious about reaching my long term goals, she really got serious about helping me get there. K's helped me set realistic goals - and I don't mean pansy realistic, either! Like any good coach she sets goals that are just on the edge of seeming impossible, and believes in me more than I believe in myself. I'm excited by the progress she says I can have and the rate she says I can see it at.
K pushes me past where I would quit, showing me just how much more I'm capable of than what I think I can do. Working with K requires that I trust her; I have to trust that she's giving me the right weight even if it's more than I think I can handle, and trust that she's assigning me the right movements even if I don't think I can do them. If I'm going to get K's help, I have to trust her wholeheartedly and put all of my effort into everything she has me do. It's only been a few days but the experience has honestly been amazing.
You're not alone. You're never alone. You're not meant to be alone.
If you're feeling discouraged today, for whatever reason, it's time to find more people. Find yourself someone - or a team of someones - to truly run alongside you, to help you and compete with you, to push you past your own limits. I think you'll like the difference that's made when you simply realize that you're not, and were never meant to be, alone.
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